Shower Thoughts

Animals smell better than us. We just think we smell good because we shower. Can you imagine what people would smell like if they had the same access to a shower that a raccoon has? The thing is, you really can’t smell a raccoon until you are right up close to it, and then you get the musty forest animal smell. What would you smell like if you never rinsed off in the shower other than whatever the occasional rainstorm rinsed off? I know from working at the jail that once somebody starts to get into the one to two week range without a shower, I smell them from ten feet away, and it’s ghastly. If it only takes a human a couple weeks to become entirely rancid smelling to the rest of us humans, then how do we smell to our olfactory enhanced animal friends? Can you IMAGINE how our unshowered ancestors must have smelled to a fox or a bear?

Animals just don’t get quite that smelly. You can’t count a skunk because that is a defense mechanism for which they have control. Don’t say a pig because the only reason they are covered in shit is because we stick them in an enclosure with a bunch of other pigs unloading their bowels everywhere. In the wilderness, Hogs have room to roam and therefore not be covered in shit in its natural state.

That leaves, what, ferrets? They smell pretty bad. The thing is, I will cuddle a ferret, but I’m not cuddling the smelly guy that lives in a tent by my office. I might throw him a ten spot, but I’m keeping my distance.

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