Ridiculous Supplement Advertisements

Supplement advertising is growing more ridiculous and hyperbolic than ever before. Supplement labels now look like they were designed by a think-tank of Mountain Dew swilling 12 year olds that just got done watching The Expendables. I typically buy my supplements in bulk, so I order every three months or so. Each time I go to reorder, I become increasingly more confused as I peruse the labels of the latest stuff out there. Do I put this stuff in a shaker and drink it like usual, or am I supposed to pour this shit in my gas tank? Maybe feed it to a terrorist?

I started taking supplements when I was about 14, and they looked like this:
supplement twin labs

Times have changed. This is the type of crap we are now subjected to.

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In order to get strong, I need to infuse my body with Sasquatch DNA by way of a plastic explosive laden thermo-nuclear pump agent. WTF? I want to get a little stronger, not a first hand account of Chernobyl!

24 Hours to Live

Not my image.

Not my image.

I was listening to a blast from the past the other day; Ma$e’s “24 Hours To Live.” Ma$e waxes philosophical at the beginning of the song, asking listeners what they’d do if they only had a day left on this earth. The hook jumps in with: “If you had 24 hours to live, just think… Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you screw? And who would you want to notify? Or would your ass deny that your ass about to die?”

Predictably, the lyrics in the song detail massive amounts of crazy sex and drugs, murderous revenge, crime sprees, and a little family time. Rappers have an uncanny knack for prioritizing.

Well, Ma$e got me thinking. My day wouldn’t look much different. Of course I’d make sure I spent most of my time with my beautiful wife and family, but I’d probably go to work for a few hours, lift some weights, and get on the mat for some jiujitsu with my buddies.

My answer tells me that I must really like my life! So, what would you do?