Shower Beer- A Haiku Tribute

Behold Shower Beer

Soap and water meet lager

A beautiful thing

This elegant poem came to me while enjoying  a cold Fat Tire during a scalding shower.  The cold brew provided the ultimate contrast of awesomeness to the searing steam.  What can I say?  I’m easily inspired.

Some Days You’re The Hammer…

Well, today I was the nail.  Jiu-jitsu is funny that way.  You can be smashing folks one day, and then get tied in a knot the next.  I don’t know, maybe that’s just my experience.  Hopefully, my fellow grapplers can chime in on this one.

Don’t take this as a “woe is me” post either.  The constant learning and adaptation I find myself going through is part of what makes jiu-jitsu so damn addicting.  I just need to up my game, because once you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Conspiracy Theorists: Here’s looking at you.

“Hey,” he says in a hushed tone, beckoning you closer with a subtle head nod.  You oblige.  Again, he starts in “Hey, so what do you think of this whole Bin Laden deal?”  You know where this is going, so you offer up a hurried, yet generic patriotic reply, to which your met with a simultaneously condescending and knowing smirk.  He retorts with, “Wanna know what’s really going on?”  “No,” you think silently, yet begrudgingly resign yourself to the tin-foil hat spawned ideas emanating form his perpetually paranoid pate.

You’ll spend the next half hour tuning in and out of a story artlessly weaving the so-called lie about Osama’s death being connected to government inspired fake moon landings, Jay-Z and Rihanna’s connection to the illuminati ran White House, and how JFK’s true assassin definitely spearheaded the government’s obvious involvement in masterminding 9/11 so the North American Union could seize ultimate control of the black market blood diamond trade.

Follow all that?  Of course not, unless you are that guy.  Now, if you are that guy then you have immediately dismissed Killer J as either “one of them” or one of the many “easily duped, bleating sheeple.”  Let me clear things up for your feeble mind, I’m “one of them” and I’m coming for you.  Close your curtains and lock your doors, you kooky freak.  Better yet, start a cult, lock your followers and yourself inside some fortress, and never come out.  Just please quit looking for a story that simply isn’t there.  Thank you for your time.  🙂

Balancing Act

The Ragnar Wasatch Back is about six weeks away, and I’m doing my best to get some miles on my shoes so I perform well.  The trick is getting in running shape in six weeks without losing strength or halting my jiujitsu progress.  Jiujitsu is my passion and strength training is a way of life; running is simply something I keep letting myself get talked in to.

Nevertheless, those Ragnar stickers on everybody’s back window are bad ass looking and I have cool people on my relay team so I better do it right.  Here’s my plan.  My balancing act*.

Nutrition:  Continue six meals per day.  Substantially increase carbohydrate intake.  Get nutrient timing down to maximize my training when both running or hitting the weights.

Strength Training: At least three times per week.  I’ll go to Arlo’s place on Mondays, and hit up my work’s new gym Wednesdays and Fridays.  Squats, deadlifts, pull ups, bent over rows, standing overhead press, and bench press will all find their way in to my three day split.

Running: 3 to 4 times per week.  Monday will be a 5 mile run, Tuesday is optional 3 mile run (time permitting), Friday will be my six to nine mile run, and Saturday will focus on running hills for approximately 3 to 5 miles.

Jiujitsu: One to two times per week. 😦  Thursday will be my for sure day.  I can’t miss Thursday.  Monday will be my optional day, time permitting.  Saturday jiujitsu will have to go for now.  Dammit.

*subject to change at Killer J’s discretion.