At some point, Westside Mark has written about fearing the smiling, quiet dude more than the loud mouth hot head. Well, I want to further define the benign chest thumper. This is the guy for whom the analogy, “All bark, no bite” was made. If you find yourself in a confrontation with a gentleman who exhibits all three characteristics below, he likely is diagnosable with “Male Pattern Histrionic Personality Disorder,” also known as the Not So Macho Man. If you can think of more characteristics, feel free to add them below.
- He is surrounded by friends, all of whom fit the criteria for a species of Gym Jerk called “Tapped Out.” Click the link for a full description, otherwise simply understand his friends look like this:
- He is loud. Very loud. As if his deafening tone weren’t enough, he will insist on using obviously rehearsed tough guy quips. Another tell-tell sign is he’ll repeat the last portion of the tough guy quip over and over, e.g. “Feelin’ froggy? Jump then! …jump then! … jump then! …jump then!” or “Got a problem? Then solve it! …solve it! …solve it, playboy! …solve it!”
- The third sign is he’ll move around a lot. These movements best resemble hip hop dance performed by a spastic baboon, reminiscent of the way the Crossfit Cult tells us to do pull ups:
If you come across this dude, rest easy. 🙂
The last few months I’ve been keeping track of my workouts on an MMA website’s forum. This includes weight training, jiu jitsu, conditioning, and running. I’ll provide a link on Killer J mainly for my own convenience, but also as a means to refer people to when they ask what I do to train.
My Training Log
2011 New Year Resolutions! I’ll grade myself at the end of the year. Anybody else is welcome to put their resolutions on the Killer J site for all to see.
1) Maintain a minimum level of strength during all the grueling endurance training I have ahead of me this year. Between the months of April and September, I plan on doing two jiujitsu tournaments and two relay races. I have to avoid muscle catabolism while improving endurance. PLAN: I will do this by hitting the weights no less than twice per week and keeping my calorie and supplement intake high.
2) Make an effort to ensure people I am close to know they mean a lot to me. Miles had a way of doing this, and I want to replicate it. PLAN: I will do what is within my power to lighten whatever burden I anticipate friends and family are carrying.
3) Improve my take downs and take down defense. This has been an ongoing goal from about the middle of last year. I have made improvements, but am far from proficient. PLAN: During training, I will start no less than half my matches from standing.
4) Become more well rounded in keeping Katchie smiling. I like the 5 Love Languages as a tool for making relationships work. If left unchecked, it can be easy to get lazy. I think I am weakest in the areas: receiving gifts and acts of service. PLAN: I will start doing more around the house (starting with my own chores I already neglect). Also, I will be more frequent with “tokens of appreciation.”