Gym Jerk II

This Gym Jerk needs a name.  I’ve described gym jerks before, but have come across a pathetic new breed.  I’ll provide a description, but you get to name him.  Post your answer, and I’ll announce the winner next week.

Appearance: This manicured, metro-sexual, man boy just stepped off Jersey Shore’s set.  He sports Tapout, but spends his time getting manicures, not on the mat.  Finally, he assaults your nostrils with the bottle of Axe he bathes in prior to hitting the gym.  This mindless meat head is the exact demographic to which Axe aims their marketing campaign.

Jersey Douche

Wears Tapout, doesn't train.

Bathes in Axe

Demeanor: This winner’s swagger and self confidence is convincing, unless you’re able to see through his bullshit.  He’s as genuine as Bernie Madoff, and as piggish as “Dice” Clay minus the funny.  He brags about painfully false exploits at the club from the weekend prior.  Whether he’s boasting of female conquests or brawls he imagined himself a part of, this prick makes a point of bellowing his story to the whole gym.  His catch phrase seems to be, “Yo playboy, that bitch is bangin’!”

Andrew "Dice" Clay: HaayYOOO!

Boombox Voice

Bernie Madoff

Do you have the guy pictured yet?  Have you met him?  Well, name him!


14 thoughts on “Gym Jerk II

    • …and Lucas moves in to an early lead with the first suggestions! Kimbo Spice isn’t too shabby, and these douchers DO tend to hang out in groups so your last choice has some merit as well. Let’s see what others come up with.

  1. The name that comes to mind when I see a guy like that is Turd Burglar. But I am liking the Kimbo Spice idea.

  2. I’m going to have to go with the classic: Douche.

    This guy is the prototype of the douche bag. Anytime we use the name douche for anyone else, it’s because they remind us of The Douche.

  3. Bi-guy. This is because all he lifts are muscles that chicks dig, that’s his whole motivation.
    Poser pete. Self explanitory
    Axe to the max

  4. I’m getting a picture of guys with fo-hawks along with these other characteristics. How about calling them Tap-Out Democrats.. Similar to BYU Democrats.

  5. Pingback: Identifying the Not So Macho Man « Killer J

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