Who the hell steals front porch decorations? Furthermore, who steals front porch decorations in the middle of the day? Somebody, that’s who. I was taking my trash out and bumped in to one of my neighbors.
He asked, “Hey, you haven’t seen any wishing wells running around, have you?” I thought I was being set up for a joke, so awaiting the punchline and with a big neighborly smile I say, “No, why do you ask?” Straight faced, he says, “I came home a couple hours ago and the wishing well decoration on my front porch was here, now it’s gone.”
Wow. Seriously, society: WTF?! Criminals from back when had some integrity, in that they jacked legit stuff like T.V.’s and jewelry. The upstanding members of society respond by putting locks on their doors, but now everybody has to worry about their lawn gnomes too!
After I post this, I’m putting a lock and chain on my snow shovel. I should probably mix up some concrete to anchor my flower pot down while I’m at it. Losers.