My wife’s been out of town for a few days now. Aside from missing her company, being bored, and having a hot woman to ogle, I’ve noticed other symptoms of her absence.
Things are dirty.
The sheets on the bed are twisted incomprehensibly.
The poodles are scruffy and stinky.
I’m scruffy and stinky.
The damn WALLS are scruffy and stinky.
Dishes are piling up.
Laundry is piling on top of the dishes.
Garbage is piling on top of the laundry.
Beetles are feeding on the garbage.
I’m feeding on beetles.
The dogs are feeding on me.
Something has to give. Wednesday night can’t come soon enough. Look at my damn house; it’s been four days!