Infected

 What kind of person gets off on infecting a random stranger’s computer with a virus?  The very act of taking the time to create a computer virus with the intent of inconveniencing thousands of unassuming people has to be the most pitifully, passive-aggressive expression of an anti-social attitude.  I don’t think I know anybody that does this, but a certain profile comes to mind. 

super-computer-nerd

Right?  Isn’t this who you picture? 

This is the profile:  A slovenly, rodent-like creature up to his neck in delusions of grandeur, vindictively generating SpyWare.  This societal cast-off furiously hammers away on his keyboard through all hours of the night, pausing only to slather his tongue around his Cheetos-stained fingers.  Should he succeed in snaring an unsuspecting victim, this object of worldwide derision greedily cackles like a cartoon villain.     

Well, if I wore a hat, I’d tip it to you jackass.  You got me.  Congratulations.  You now get to strut around your dungeon flaring your blubbery lats in a hopeless attempt to mimic your ongoing, 17 year obsession with the high school jocks you secretly envy yet openly despise.  Go ahead, tweet a high five to your fellow spaghetti dicked deep space nine NAMBLA nerds during your masturbatory preoccupation with World of Warcraft.  You win!  Celebrate!

Just keep it down, your Mom is trying to sleep. 

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9 thoughts on “Infected

  1. Hahahahaha. I love it. Although, this whole part: “This societal cast-off furiously hammers away on his keyboard through all hours of the night, pausing only to slather his tongue around his Cheetos-stained fingers…” REALLY painted a vivid image in my head and frankly made me lose my appetite! Lol! I have an extreme HATE for Cheetos… and for fingers.. sick! Where do you find these odd pictures at? I’m not going to lie, that creepster is going to give me nightmares.

    Lmao… I love Shaun’s response.

  2. I think youre the idiot here.
    First of all, youre definitly that kind of person that always claims it was a virus when something in your computer goes wrong or breaks.
    There are nearly no viruses in the internet that break computers; this would be ridiculously useless. Instead, viruses are used for getting passwords, attacking web servers or sending spam mails. Most of the successful coders of this kind of malware get rich by doing so – and will propably have a better life than you.
    tl;dr: stop blaming viruses for breaking your computer.

    • BAaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!! You must be the guy in the picture. Look, sorry bro. I just needed somebody to represent the typical computer dork, and your image works nicely. I’ll take it down if you really want me to.

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