Locker Room

Why do old men lose their inhibitions in gym locker rooms?  Take an older gentleman who is stern and conservative in any other life situation, and release him to the locker room and watch what happens.  Our modest man immediately morphs in to a wrinkled pole dancer.

I’ve been a member of several gyms throughout the course of my life.  The one common denominator between all gyms is the prevalence of old, naked dudes parading around the lockers!  Now, I’m not some Victorian-era prude that shuns nudity, but when I’m forced to navigate a gauntlet of bushy balls, and graying gorilla guts while coughing on the ever present cloud of Tinactin and baby powder I’ve got to complain somewhere.

It’s not like I want everybody to hide in a corner like an insecure junior high school kid starting puberty, but there is no need for me to be engaged in converation with an old man’s junk as he stands over me while I put my running shoes on!  Take a step back, gramps!  Put on some shorts before you stand half a foot from my face!  Please?

old-man

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17 thoughts on “Locker Room

  1. You know I thought that it was just my luck to randomly walk into locker rooms to be assaulted with an abundance of 40+ men modeling their goods for the world to see. It has gotten so bad that I’ve abandoned all initiative to wonder into the local locker room. I avoid them completely.
    I, like you have had multiple gym memberships, and it hasn’t mattered whether it was in Utah, Wyoming, Maine, New Hampshire, or Florida it’s all the same scene. My most memorable nightmare was at a local gym in Laramie, WY. I wondered in to the locker room to weigh myself, and I happened to glance over towards the sinks to catch the money shot of an elderly man standing completely nude in front of the mirror with shaving cream around his groin area giving himself a nice Brazilian trim. There should be a disclaimer on the locker room entrance warning of such acts being performed!

  2. I can honestly say, through all the gyms I have ever traversed, I have never seen an old dude trying to rock the Brazilian.
    Oh… My… Good… Hell…

  3. Lmao. I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t even know this sort of thing went on! I’m not even going to lie.. I’m feeling a little curious!

  4. Yikes! Although woman’s locker rooms are not normally too bad, there does happen to be a certain lady that always happens to be there when I am there and I swear she just hangs out naked for like an hour. I’ve never seen her work out – she just comes in, takes her clothes off, showers, dries off, showers again, and then uses the blow dryer for a half hour. But I don’t know if that’s as bad as having junk right in your face. My condolences!

  5. Dang Patty, that’s the exact type though! These old folks… they just chill in the locker room naked! That’s it! I had a thought:
    This may be one of those things that one learns with age. What life lesson will we learn that leads to this behavior? What magical things happen in the locker room when us young ‘uns go work out? Some day, we may find out.

  6. Sounds great! I have to see this. lol. Now, I really think it’s about time for a new bloggy-blog. DO IT!! Puhleaaaaaaaase? And thanks.

  7. Oh well! I am not sure how much exaggeration is going on here. I’ve been to several gyms, and I have not experienced that kind of a thing; but what I can say here is that our culture thinks of older people as repulsive, and they are not really human; therefore, it takes only one incidence for us to think that it is too much to tolerate.

    • Thanks for the comment Ray. It’s not old people that are repulsive, it’s their lack of natural aversion to drumming up a conversation with their junk six inches from your face!

  8. I am willing to bet that some young people are doing the same thing, but it goes unnoticed, because we have a different attitude towards the young; and when young people do it they don’t make us puke like when old people do it.

    • Old people definitely get stereotyped, but the original post was generated based on a peer reviewed, randomized, double blind study involving gyms, man junk, and age.

      In fact, the original post was simply copied/pasted from the “discussion” section from the published study. Gravity, speed of light, and Locker Room… All fact.

  9. Quote: “I’ve been a member of several gyms throughout the course of my life. The one common denominator between all gyms is the prevalence of old, naked dudes parading around the lockers!”

    I personally have had memberships in several gyms in Louisiana, Ohio, New York City, New Jersey, Maine, and Massachusetts. I work as a consultant, and there is a lot of travel in my job, and I lived more than a year in each of these states. All I can tell you is that I never ever experienced a prevalence of “old dudes” in any of the gyms that I visited; and when the “old dudes” were naked, they were just as naked as the young dudes. and I never experienced a behavior that was “unique” to the “old dudes”. All I can tell you is that I am not sure what type of gyms he is visiting.

    Sorry, I disagree totally with the article. I am sure the person that wrote the article is extremely prejudiced against “old dudes”, and he sure is not very fond of “old dudes”.

    I bid you well.

    Thanks for conversing with me.

    Ray

  10. Pingback: The Captain of Gym Jerks | Killer J

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